“Can’t work today boss (myself); too sleepy; someone else will have to write the bugs. For real though, I’m taking the day off to fucking lay on my sofa, maybe I’ll even read a book? Tremendous. Some times you have to fucking chill 👍️.
If anyone needs me just don’t do that instead.”
Read this today on the Fediverse. Not going to link, because the posts were unlisted, and I took the liberty of adapting the formatting, but who hasn’t felt this way at some point, eh? 🙋🏻♂️
humour“In the States, looking different and/or having an accent will get you asked “Where are you from?” It doesn’t fail, it happens all the time.”
“What business is it of yours where I’m from, friendo?”
humour rantsGeorge’s blog Terms of Service always makes me smile. The latest revision has a subtle, but ever-present, touch of AI to it.
friends george humourYes, that unbelievable screenshot you might have come across social media about reporting certain things to the IRS is true:
“Illegal activities. Income from illegal activities, such as money from dealing illegal drugs, must be included in your income on Schedule 1 (Form 1040), line 8z, or on Schedule C (Form 1040) if from your self-employment activity.”
— IRS.gov
And:
humour interesting politics“Stolen property. If you steal property, you must report its FMV in your income in the year you steal it, unless in the same year you return it to its rightful owner.”
— IRS.gov
It is truly incredible that I can find my iPhone with ease, yet the United States military can’t find an F-35 (yes, that very expensive plane), and it’s asking for help. I guess it is truly stealth, after all. 😂
humour interesting politicsThe feeling I get when I pull out my identification in advance at Total Wine & More, when buying beer for mum, anticipating I will be asked for it, and when getting to the cashier she says “Oh, you are fine” after trying to show it to her. 😩
Kim laughed at me, of course.
humour life“Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we’ve grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it’s not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched, pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.”
The above from one of “Seinfeld” episodes.
birthdays humour quotes“What a horse wants, what a horse needs, is always having a patch of grass that’s ever green…” — Read/sing it with the music of “What a Girl Wants”, by Christina Aguilera. I sang it this morning to my partner. She is a Horse 😂.
horsie humourThis one I had read before, yet still brought a few chuckles as I read deeper into it. Having a friend that owns (or used to, I am not sure now) a handful of old Porsche’s, I couldn’t resist sharing it with him. It made him laugh too! 😂
“Welcome to my Porsche 914. I imagine that at this point (having found the door unlocked) your intention is to steal my car. Don’t be encouraged by this; the tumblers sheared off in 1978. I would have locked it up if I could, so don’t think you’re too clever or that I’m too lazy. However, now that you’re in the car, there are a few things you’re going to need to know.”
➝ Via Hacker News.
humour viaI cut half of the onion, and I was fine. It wasn’t until I cut the second half that the onion decided it had enough, and it make me cry.
humour
