< Notes...

Today is one of those few—but they exist, as evidenced—days I feel disappointed, and despaired. Not a good feeling.

Even as we are us, for our entire existence, we change. For better, or for worse, we change. I found myself disagreeing with myself, or realising I no longer think the same way, while going over some of my old blog entries. Because of that I decided to add a disclaimer to some entries that reads:

Disclaimer:
This post is an old one. Overtime, my perspectives evolve, and it may not reflect my current thinking, political affiliation, or position on the topic(s) at hand.

It is not so much that I care what a stranger may think of me because of what I wrote (which I do!), but more for myself. I will not delete the post, but the least I can do is to note that its contents may no longer apply.

The amount of plastic in a lot of everyday things that we eat is staggering. I am freaking out, even though the site one-time banner disclaimer made me click a “Got it, I promise not to freak out” button.

➝ Via Hacker News.

I am having an “existential” dilemma here. First, I have some titles been mentioned in notes (movies, or books, or similar) between double quotes, while some others do not have it. I don’t like that inconsistency. Second, I don’t know which style to pick, and adhere to from now on—which will be the same style I will use to change others retroactively as well. Should I always use double quotes? Should I italise them instead, no double quotes?

See the silly things I drown myself with?

Today, which is coming to an end in roughly three hours, is the Summer Solstice for the Northern hemisphere—where I happen, for better or for worse, to be situated. That means today was the longest day of the year for us. Oh, but still runs at 24 hours, take it or leave it, so, yeah, not really that much meaningful anyway. 🎶 “It comes and goes, it comes and goooooes!” 🎶

One hundred percent, Claudine! In my head, and in my actions, I am more often than not the same kid I remember myself to be. “Youthfulness” is a construct of our minds. Yes, we age mechanically, but that shouldn’t change anything else. Specially because society expects us to behave in a “certain way”, due to age. Pfff!

Around 2002, and for a brief period, I kept a small weblog all handcrafted. Each page was created manually; I copied and pasted quite a bit, and I would make each page have its own uniqueness. I don’t know why I felt nostalgic thinking about it.

I write these notes not expecting interaction. I do it for fun, more often than not to amuse myself. Yet, even as I admit that what I jot here is for my own, it is similar to writing a message in a bottle. The hope (aim?) is that someone will eventually find it, and do with it as they please. 😅😂

Each and everyone of us is the descendent of an immigrant. Those ancestors we don’t know immigrated multiple times, many of them, for sure, illegally. And yet, here we are.

From “Fallout” comes this nugget of “wisdom”. It’s true, though, time is the apex predator. Now, about outliving… that’s the challenge. No one can outlive time.

“What is the ultimate weapon of mass destruction? Time. Time is the apex predator. And in the event of an incident, time is the weapon with which we will defeat all of our enemies. That is how we will win the great game of capitalism. Not by outfighting anyone, but by outliving them.”

I don’t use profanities, but allow me, please, this time. “I don’t give a fuck”, “I don’t have fucks left to give”, etc., is used to utterly mean, I don’t care, right? I have found, though, another meaning for it.

“I don’t have fucks left to give” says that I am, absolutely, not going to let any stressful situation bring me worry, or take away my peace of mind. I am, still, giving a fuck about it, and will act to the best of my knowledge—and expediently—to resolve it, and bring it to closure.

Bottomline, because “I give a fuck”, “I have zero fucks left to give”. Do I make sense? 😅

Reading Alice Barlett’s weekly note earlier today, in which a daughter tells her father “Daddy, you are the man I love the most”, reminded me when the girl once told me too “Papá, I want to marry someone like you”, just around the same age as “E”. It made me feel so appreciated, and loved! I will never forget it.

“We haul your trash and your junk!” reads a sign that I have seen around the city. The local government does pick up regular (household) trash, and large junk (mattresses, televisions, refrigerators, etc.) once a week. That’s included in the $21.68 every household pays monthly through the City Utilities Commission.

For major house renovations, a dump bucket of many sizes can also be rented, usually by those doing the work. Who would have so much rubbish that businesses could be formed to cater to that need?

I am also left thinking: where would that business dump their haul? Unhealthy thoughts come to my mind. Call me a cynic.

Why everytime we deorbit something (a satellite, or, you know, the ISS, when its time comes) we bring it in, into the atmosphere, to crash on Earth? Why don’t we push them out, to the vast cosmos? A few answers come to mind, with cost making the only sense.

It has always puzzled me how society expects older people to “behave their age”. Why? Why the degrading of our cells, our physical and mental decline, has to change who we are? If we saw people past their age, and let them be them, the world would be a happier place.

Each day I become increasingly convinced that a website’s overall design matters less than the right choice of typography (fonts) and the quality of its content; these two elements are intrinsically linked.

I am finding out that I repeat myself quite a bit. Is that good, or bad?

Came across Alephic’s Writing page on Hacker News. I almost agree with everything, but this:

“A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences—just as a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts.”

Yes to the sentence, and paragraph and, perhaps, machine. But a drawing? There are no unnecessary lines in a drawing. Slightly off tangent, first time I heard of Alephic. There is a first time for everything, though.

It rains so gently this morning, that I could almost distinguish music within the sound of it hitting my car roof while driving to work. I had to turn off the radio to enjoy it. It felt so nice, I even stayed at extra 10 minutes inside the car at the parking lot, hearing it a bit longer. I need more days that start like this.

“Have I gone mad? I’m afraid so. You’re entirely Bonkers. But I will tell you a secret, all the best people are.”

I just don’t want to be. Mad, that is. Now I understand the reason for flagelation; mine is walking. Off to it!

Holidays are fastly approaching, and I have been experiencing that mixed happy/melancholic feeling that comes with them. There are always ups and downs, but when extra—as in, non-expected—downs come around this season, my melancholy increases.

I wish all that come around the very best for that next round we call 2025. For those I know, please know I care about you, and keep you in my thoughts daily.

Three days from today, towards the end of the day, we in the US will have an idea of who the nation’s presiding person will be for the next four years. In the 32 years I have lived here, I have never been more worried about an election outcome.

There is so much misery in the world, so much pain, so much suffering, so much need. How can we ignore if not all of it, most of it?

Regarding this, I am also considering a format change. Leaning more towards a “bullet blog”. What is a bullet blog?

• Well, something like this, where one writes the things one wants to write using a bulleted list (maybe specially styled for the purpose?).
• More than one thing can be writen, either at once (when post is made), or added (by editing it) throughout the day.
  • Sometimes bullets can be children to parents, depending on their relationship. This isn’t needed, but it is there if suits purpose.
• Some entries might not have bullet entries at all. It is totally optional.

Feeling the desire to change these notes website altogether. I am not sure to which direction. Comes to prove that we, humans, never settle. Let’s see.

Should I be sad because the weekend is coming to an end, or happy for having enjoyed it? Some will say “why not both?”, but not me. Thus I choose to pick the second.

I miss RadioShack, Circuit City, Computer City, CompUSA, Fry’s… all those “old” computer/electronics stores, and what they used to be. No store these days compare. None. Oof, I am getting old.

Not having fun. Actually, having the total opposite, whatever that might be. It all started yesterday, because I am lucky enough to do things that bring plenty of the opposity of fun.

I am starting to second guess “Notes”, just as I did a few days back with other things. The deletion of the PDS I was running was serendipitous, though welcome. What to do, what to do?

I am facing a small dilemma. I don’t feel I have the energy, nor the content, to share my attention across different places. I have a “blog”, to which I write once, or twice a year. I have these notes, which I used to use more often. I also have an ActivityPub server (aka Mastodon, or Fediverse), and a BlueSky PDS (Personal Data Server).

I really need to downsize. What to “cut off” first?

I get the automated message from Kim. The same I get each week day morning: “Good morning ❤️! ☕ please 🙏🏻” I know it’s 07:30. Next I know, and I kid you not, I get the second reminder tone about the same message. Two minutes have passed by. What’s going on?! I felt I just blinked, and two minutes passed. Something’s broken.

“Time is an illusion, a construct made out of human memory. There’s no such thing as the past, the present, or the future. It’s all happening now.”

I have so many places to drop my thoughts, and carry out interactions, that I am having a hard time deciding which to pick. Such difference from my notebook, and pencil, diary of old!

A quote from Flemming Rose (whom I got to know about a bit more today):

“If a believer demands that I, as a nonbeliever, observe his taboos in the public domain, he is not asking for my respect, but for my submission.”

Morbid thought of the day: when I die, just like my corpse, everything I manage today online will rot. Digital rot, and vanishment.

There are days you are up, and look around and down. There are days you are down, and do your best to look up. I am having one of the second.

Thoughts whilst walking at lunch time. For someone obsessive, having chrome faucets, door handles, and a only-glass shower is a major problem. The reasons are obvious, right? Possible remedy: use car wax to slightly coat the chrome surfaces, and Rain-X—or similar—for the glass surfaces.

I have long struggled with the concept of ownership. I might be perceived as fastidious but, do we truly own anything? We don’t. We use things, we enjoy things through our lives calling them ours. In reality we merely borrow them for a—in the greater scale of things—very, very brief period of time.

I should aim to remove anything that denotes ownership from my thoughts. Let’s see how well I do.

Son got a little melancholic when I told him I might not be around for the next total solar eclipse in 2045. “Come on, papá, take care of yourself, exercise, and be healthy. You can do it!” — he told me.

I live for the people I love, for the people I care about. I want to continue, I want to be around. If anything, for him, for my family, for my friends.

Finding beauty, pleasantness—even calm—in imperfection has changed the otherwise obsessive, rigid, inflexible, in me.